"The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents."
It is vast approaching the time to celebrate the victory of the tree wars once more, and at this time of year our first reminder has already been brought under close strutiny. The Conker, lovingly created by the kin of Creake trees, is once more around and being used as a training weapon for the many peoples of this land. A tradition as old as time its self, that spawed from that which is now forgotten in myth and legend.........
Most Human beings no longer remember the leaf wars, where man and the good trees of the world rose up to fight the Pine as they tried to take over the rainforests and drive out all life from them. They in their evil desperation detroyed much of what we once loved, and we were all sadened by it. But after 10 years of bitter struggle we emerged victorious, the pine were driven back and formally surrendered on 25th December 290BC. The celebration still exists where all across the globe people of all races and religeons join together and sacrifice a Pine tree on this day, in hope that their numbers will never again reach a level where they can return to their secret war machines hidden in the River Derwent, and wage another war.
During the war we lost many of our valued allies, the Creake Trees of the northern territories were wiped out, and many of the lesser oak trees suffored deaths at the hands of the vile Pine. They did not die in vain. They allowed one of their kin to escape the onslaught, and continue to exist. And in their noble sacrifice the kin that they allowed to continue living decreed that every year they would produce a tribute to the Creake Tree, a weapon to be used if ever Pine should threated their home land. This of course is now known as the conker, and is played with by children all over the world, a tradition that began as training by the warriors of old should need arise.
So now that you know all of the past history of the leaf wars, I ask you
not to judge me when I remove Pine trees from my homeland. If I and many
others had not worked diligently all these years and many more to come,
they would surely have destroyed mankind, and all that would remain on a
barren rock world third from a sun once called Sol, would be the Pine.
Waiting for another race to try and conquer them. Lulling them down
waiting... then striking without mercy.