Klynton.com

mIRC Jokes

If you enjoy these sorts of jokes check out:

http://www.i-rox.com and http://www.bash.org

Taken from the MIRC logs of #lawns. Now #slum.

We were talking about home brew.

[00:27] (Klynt) ooo it has a very fruity smell

[00:27] (Super_Vegeta) if u wanna trick to this...

[00:28] (Coddy) u been wanking in it already ffs

[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) *** Coddy has quit IRC

[00:28] (LH_|) errr no

[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) :P

[00:28] (Coddy) :/# [00:28]

(Super_Vegeta) ooh

[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) lil face with beard

[00:28] (Klynt) my gizz is more lager tasting, not fruity

[00:28] (Super_Vegeta) :|)

[00:28] (Coddy) good

[00:28] (Coddy) ill come round and supp it

[00:28] (Coddy) lager

[00:28] (Bobbeh) lol

[00:29] (Coddy) lager !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[00:29] (Klynt) you want to sup my Giz?

[00:29] (Bobbeh) hahahahaahhaah

[00:29] (Coddy) be round in 5secs

[00:29] (Bobbeh) lol

[00:29] (Coddy) !!!!

[00:29] (Klynt) really?

[00:29] (Super_Vegeta) lol

[00:29] (Coddy) yes

[00:29] (LH_|) he means i t

[00:29] (LH_|) he is out of his seat already

[00:29] (Coddy) lager tasteing giz

[00:29] (Bobbeh) op me

[00:29] (Klynt) hmmmm has a strange taste, but not unapealing

[00:29] *** wah sets mode: +o Bobbeh

[00:29] (Coddy) ill jump of the balcony to make more time

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bob|cbat; its codd birthday today
bob|cba; and he didnt tell us
bob|cba; till an hour ago :/
Klynt; hmmmm
Klynt; slacker
Klynt; maybe we should bondage tape him to a lampost
Klynt; then video the reaction
Klynt; and take pictures to remind him
bob|cba; hmm
(qui) think you're a bit fucked in the head tbh
Klynt; you think that is fucked in the head?
Klynt; Pray you never meet me
(qui) :)
Klynt; for that is nothing
Klynt; still I think it's a good plan bob
Klynt; and your birthday on the 30th....... oooooo
bob|cba; i'm off home for my birthday Klynt
Klynt; and?
Klynt; you think I can't find you
bob|cba; i would hope so
Klynt; Even if I have to hitch hike I'll be there on a dark night
bob|cba; ic
Klynt; maklijng sure you 'enjoy' yourself

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

{fooleh} i was screwed this morn
{Klynt} really?
{Klynt} by who?
{DrPerLine} me and one of my mates

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

BUZZ!!!
Klynton: yes
scousersrule2002: who r u?
Klynton: Me
scousersrule2002: how do u know me?
Klynton: think you started a random chat with me a while back
scousersrule2002: ahwell heres something more random fuck off!
Klynton: i see
scousersrule2002: u see what? gay people? maybe you should not go to them places then
Klynton: heh, you 14 or something
scousersrule2002: no im 20 actually so dont try to come onto bender
scousersrule2002: me*
Klynton: You message me then complain about me talking to you. Hah.
scousersrule2002: cos ur a gay wanker!
Klynton: if you're through I'm trying to do work
scousersrule2002: haha u call that work?
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: ur a first class prick who sucks dick outside gay bars
Klynton: if you're going to attempt to insult me can you at least use proper grammar
Klynton: it's not that difficult
scousersrule2002: whooooooooooooooo
scousersrule2002: yeah but its fucking long
scousersrule2002: and i dont wanna type slow like u do
scousersrule2002: this way i can do 4 insults 2 ur 1

at this point I stopped drawing with my right hand and typing with left, it was on;
scousersrule2002: you yahooligan
Klynton: I'm busy doing work on the other screen
Klynton: but if you really want a war
scousersrule2002: lol
Klynton: then i can give you one
scousersrule2002: war now u8r talking
scousersrule2002: come on then bin laden
Klynton: hahhaa
Klynton: you called that a war?
Klynton: are you as retarded in real life as you sound online
scousersrule2002: and u call anything a war ill get my hacking tools out prick
Klynton: or are you worsew?
Klynton: ahahaha
scousersrule2002: worsew? great grammer!
Klynton: 'grammer'
Klynton: priceless
Klynton: grammar prick
Klynton: you get these hacking tools from 'imalameassscriptkiddie.net?
Klynton: can you actually hack yourself
scousersrule2002: no im no script kiddie
Klynton: or do you have to use macrovirusmaker.exe?
Klynton: ya don't appear to be typing very fast
scousersrule2002: i dont use none of that shit i make all my own shit in C++
Klynton: even using your quick method
Klynton: C++ eh
Klynton: wow
scousersrule2002: im having a few wars here
Klynton: I'm so impressed /sarcasm
Klynton: bet ya are
scousersrule2002: and some pearl and delphi
Klynton: pearl?
Klynton: hahahhahahaa
scousersrule2002: fuck off
Klynton: no a in it cocksucker
Klynton: you wanted a war
scousersrule2002: yeah i do
scousersrule2002: so what u got 4 me?
Klynton: and delphi is just visual turbo pascal
Klynton: a noob version of algol
scousersrule2002: i wanted a war not a computer fair
scousersrule2002: im still online m8
Klynton: well in round about way I'm merely proving you are a lame script kiddie
scousersrule2002: come on mr expert ddos me
scousersrule2002: crash my pc
scousersrule2002: fuck me over prove u know shit
Klynton: Sorry I'm not 14 any more
scousersrule2002: ill even give u a open port
Klynton: you'd probably just report me
Klynton: and as a member of the BCS I'm meant to resist this sort of thing
scousersrule2002: i wont report u
Klynton: I got loads of open ports though
Klynton: if you want a dabble
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: and u report me?
Klynton: nope I'm fair game
scousersrule2002: just let me sort my proxies out
scousersrule2002: what u expecting?
Klynton: in respect to what?
scousersrule2002: in respect to how far u want me to go?
Klynton: easiest way would be to reset the modem. Easy to get it, lots of open ports on it. Won't damage anything and will prove you can actually do things
Klynton: simple interface
scousersrule2002: what so u want me to d/c u with a ping from a unreachable ip?
Klynton: yeah go for it

I was thinking 'a' ping, well the modems a bit crap but surely;
scousersrule2002: mmmmmm should i? i dont know shit lol how do i get ur ip?
Klynton: you can't get an ip?
scousersrule2002: oh in dos
scousersrule2002: duh
Klynton: want me to tell you? tell you what maybe I should walk outside my room and reset it myself then we'll pretend you actually know to f=do it eh?
scousersrule2002: u with karoo yeh
Klynton: maybe
scousersrule2002: course u r
scousersrule2002: u adsl?
Klynton: what difference does it make?
scousersrule2002: just wanna know what size packet 2 send
Klynton: I'll let you find out from the ip address
Klynton: tis a simple task
scousersrule2002: u gareth?
Klynton: why?
scousersrule2002: cos i dont wanna fuck the wrong ip now do i?
Klynton: ;
scousersrule2002: u best not grass me
Klynton: i won't
scousersrule2002: any port scans?
Klynton: I'm not going to run you through doing it
Klynton: you either know or you don't
scousersrule2002: just wanna make surfe i got u
scousersrule2002: i do but i got 5 karoo ip's here
Klynton: 20% chance then
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: i dont like them odds
Klynton: just throw a ten sided die
Klynton: and go with the resulting ip
scousersrule2002: and when i got u then its ur go ok?
Klynton: yeah
Klynton: whatever
scousersrule2002: to do the same task ok?
Klynton: I'm getting bored here
scousersrule2002: just getting all my info together
Klynton: if ya gonna do something do it
scousersrule2002: just tell me have i touched ur ip yet?
Klynton: no help I'm afraid
Klynton: is this going to take much longer, as I may have to pop out and get more booze soon
scousersrule2002: u booze? u get pissed on lemonade
Klynton: 'yus' thats right
Klynton: Actually absinthe is my poison. Although a nice scotch has to do at moment
Klynton: trying to find a place that sells black absinthe
Klynton: as the green is just boring now
scousersrule2002: i know a place
scousersrule2002: want the url?
Klynton: probably noobsareus.com
scousersrule2002: nah
scousersrule2002: u got ya drink?

at this point I had been downstairs and talked with arthur my housemate who recognised the user, and decided to join in;

amembleton (22:40:30): lo
scousersrule2002 (22:40:41): hi
scousersrule2002 (22:42:08): what u after fa**o
amembleton (22:42:28): sorry, was wondering how you were doing
scousersrule2002 (22:42:30): can i ask a favour?
scousersrule2002 (22:42:40): sorry wrong message
amembleton (22:42:46): yeah
scousersrule2002 (22:42:52): so can u help me out
amembleton (22:42:56): of course i can
scousersrule2002 (22:43:20): whats ur pc skills like
amembleton (22:43:38): i am a computer science graduate. I am very good
amembleton (22:43:41): why?
scousersrule2002 (22:43:50): i need some help
amembleton (22:43:53): oh really
scousersrule2002 (22:43:58): kinda
amembleton (22:44:07): go on...
scousersrule2002 (22:44:12): errrmmmm
scousersrule2002 (22:44:22): how would i ping someone offline?
amembleton (22:44:59): its just a simple DOS attack
scousersrule2002 (22:45:09): i know that
scousersrule2002 (22:45:15): but what dos commands?

we both almost pissed ourselves laughing, a DOS attack is an attack using MSDOS?;
amembleton (22:45:32): format c:\
scousersrule2002 (22:45:36): lolololol
amembleton (22:45:38): yeah
amembleton (22:45:44): you know better than that
scousersrule2002 (22:45:47): i dont wanna reinstall windows
amembleton (22:45:54): clearly you are very good with computers
scousersrule2002 (22:46:01): yeh and so r u
scousersrule2002 (22:46:25): i was only asking no need for the sarcasm i am female
amembleton (22:47:08): sorry you can't really attack someone offline
scousersrule2002 (22:47:17): they are online
amembleton (22:47:18): who are you trying to attack? I might be able to help
scousersrule2002 (22:47:24): i wanna send them offline d/c them
amembleton (22:48:03): have you got their ip?
scousersrule2002 (22:48:19): i dont how to get it
scousersrule2002 (22:48:23): know*
amembleton (22:48:26): how do you know them?
scousersrule2002 (22:48:34): off here
amembleton (22:48:41): yahoo messenger?
scousersrule2002 (22:48:44): yes
amembleton (22:48:52): why do you want to get rid of them?
amembleton (22:49:02): why don't you just block them?
scousersrule2002 (22:49:03): he asked me to prove i could do it
amembleton (22:49:09): do you fancy him?
scousersrule2002 (22:49:19): oh yes
scousersrule2002 (22:50:10): so r u gonna help me or not
amembleton (22:50:16): yes
scousersrule2002 (22:50:31): so what commands?
amembleton (22:50:32): i'm not sure exactly how to go about it
amembleton (22:50:41): there aren't any commands in windows
scousersrule2002 (22:50:48): u must do if ur a computer science graduate
scousersrule2002 (22:50:56): its in dos u said
amembleton (22:51:21): no, i meant DOS (Denial of Service). Its where you send lots of commands to a computer and then it gives up and dies
amembleton (22:51:25): don't worry
amembleton (22:51:36): whats his username?
scousersrule2002 (22:52:05): i dont want u to do it
scousersrule2002 (22:52:22): i have to do it
amembleton (22:52:24): ok
amembleton (22:52:27): i'm thinking
scousersrule2002 (22:53:23): ok
scousersrule2002 (22:53:31): u know anyone called klynton
amembleton (22:54:59): i know klynton.com
amembleton (22:55:03): that might be the same person
amembleton (22:55:07): www.klynton.com
scousersrule2002 (22:55:10): whats there?
amembleton (22:55:16): a personal website
scousersrule2002 (22:55:28): how do u know him?
amembleton (22:55:37): i don't. one of my friends knows him
scousersrule2002 (22:55:42): ok
amembleton (22:57:12): sorry, i'm stil working on it
scousersrule2002 (22:57:15): ok
amembleton (22:57:18): its difficult to do it from window
amembleton (22:57:20): windows
amembleton (22:57:29): not as many functions and tools for that sort of thing
scousersrule2002 (22:57:35): unix?
scousersrule2002 (22:57:38): linux?
amembleton (22:57:41): unix or linux would do
scousersrule2002 (22:57:53): hmmmmm
amembleton (23:00:22): have you visited klynton.com yet
scousersrule2002 (23:00:37): yeah could not be arsed 2 read that bollocks
back to me and teh 'script kiddie';
Klynton: yep
Klynton: you going to do owt
Klynton: script kiddie boy
scousersrule2002: boy?
scousersrule2002: im female
Klynton: shemale more like
scousersrule2002: whatever
Klynton: come on, if you write your own tools in c++ use one of threm
Klynton: anyway to the booze -;
scousersrule2002: ill sort u when u come back
Klynton: sort me while I'm gone
Klynton: the modem will inform me
scousersrule2002: ok darling
scousersrule2002: dont be gone long
scousersrule2002: e
Klynton: come on
Klynton: 213.249.214.156 Dialup modem
Klynton: tis you
Klynton: aint that difficult

thinking back you'd imagine they'd have backed off trying a DOS attack on an adsl connection from a dialup?;
scousersrule2002: ill find out 4 u
scousersrule2002: dunno find out
scousersrule2002: i know ur on 2 names
scousersrule2002: u find me through ur website?
Klynton: 2 names?
scousersrule2002: so what u got 4 me?
Klynton: 2 names?
scousersrule2002: yeh
Klynton: what do you mean 2 names?
scousersrule2002: the guy who sent me 2 ur site
Klynton: what guy was that
scousersrule2002: ur m8
Klynton: I have many mates
Klynton: you'd have to ellaborate
scousersrule2002: no
Klynton: i see
scousersrule2002: come on then u attack my pc
scousersrule2002: then ill set my friends on ya
scousersrule2002: and u might be doing computer science at hull wow
Klynton: I said I would attack you once you had proved you were not a script kiddie. Which I suppose you have, being unable to do anything at all even with those programs
scousersrule2002: but my m8 is getting a double first honours at oxford in computer science
Klynton: it's very sad not to be able to find a simple ip address
scousersrule2002: i got ur ip prick
Klynton: and I would suggest that you not try to 'scare' people if you can't sdo anything
Klynton: what is it then?
Klynton: if you actually found out then tell me what it is.
scousersrule2002: 213.249.245.114
Klynton: indeed it is. So after finding that, how come you can't do a DOS attack one me. Given that you have 'written programs in c++ to do that'
scousersrule2002: cos im doing shit loads of shit here
Klynton: ahahahahha
scousersrule2002: so i know u was on 2 names cos i had ur ip many times
Klynton: lame excuse of the year award goes to you
Klynton: I will admit you found me because of that
Klynton: and no it wasn't me talking to you
Klynton: aembleton is my housemate
Klynton: who was stringing you along, the comedy when you asked for help in doing 'a simple task' that you threatened to do for ages
scousersrule2002: lol i knew it was u
Klynton: and clearly know nothing about
Klynton: I would avise that you don't repeat that kind of threat to another person after your abismal attempt here. And I' m not sure but your complete n00bness might *just* make it onto www.i-rox.com a site for online quotes that are highly amusing.
scousersrule2002: haha
Klynton: And so I will say goodbye to you. You have been shown to be a fool who talks big, but knows nothing
scousersrule2002: lol
scousersrule2002: whatever ill be back l8r
scousersrule2002: when im more aware

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[19:50] ellisd; oy jon, if you hold a UNIX Shell up to your ear, can you hear the C?

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01:46] Klynt; hmmmm
[01:46] Klynt; just went to get some water
[01:46] Klynt; not sure what is more disturbing, the fact that I could hear one my housemates having sex, or the fact that they were singing along to my music whilst doing it.
[01:46] Klynt; I mean do I leave it? or find something with a real hard tune to follow
[01:47] qui; lol
[01:47] jonr_; arthur and lucy?
[01:47] jonr_; man
[01:47] Klynt; indeed
[01:47] jonr_; not needed
[01:47] jonr_; are you okay klynt?
[01:47] Klynt; Yeah I stopped to have a quick wank outside the door of course
[01:48] jonr_; ic
[01:48] qui; spunk all over the hinges
[01:48] Klynt; but after that I was fine
[01:48] qui; stop them from creaking
[01:48] Klynt; yeah you know
[01:48] jonr_; qui is disgusting
[01:48] Klynt; I'm glad you think qui's the perverted one
[01:48] qui; hehe